Julian Gough

I was very pleased to see that Gideon Rachman, chief foreign affairs columnist of the Financial Times, firmly backs my proposal to unify Europe. (By holding the Lisbon Treaty referendum again, but this time promising Ireland's voters an ice cream if they vote yes.)

Some of those commenting on his fine piece, "An Ice Cream For Ireland", miss the point, and blather on about democracy and subsidiarity and corporate tax rates. I was obliged to join in and steer this important debate back onto the right path, pointing out:

"Yes, this talk of protocols and democracy and referendums and addendums is all very well, but let’s get down to the nitty gritty, or at least the tutti frutti. What flavour of icecream would win over the most Irish voters?

Nothing too exotic, you don’t want Ireland’s voters to feel foreign values are being foisted on them (so pistachio is out). Vanilla would be the Eurocrats’ obvious, offend-nobody choice. But, on reflection, I would vote no to vanilla. Too bland an offering is also suspicious.

My gut feeling is strawberry."

Several people, instantly grasping the simple genius of the idea, made useful suggestions. My  favourite being from David Wilkins:

"May I suggest that the ice cream given to each Irish voter should take the form of a ‘99′? That would remind the Irish that they are voting not just for themselves but also for the 99% of EU citizens who have been denied a vote on the Lisbon treaty. The whole process is, after all, distinctly flakey."

And Shevvers suggested:

"A pint of Guinness would work better than ice cream."

Which is a strong and original idea, but would be open, I fear, to legal challenge after the vote, from the remorseful and hungover voters.

It is not too late to vote for your favourite flavour over on Gideon's blog. Now that's democracy... 

(The fine photos of the leaders of Ireland's three largest political parties, in case you're wondering, are borrowed from Kieran Murphy, of Murphys Ice Cream, who has a wonderfully ice cream-obsessed website, called Ice Cream Ireland. Although, er, he doesn't know they're borrowed yet. It's a bit late to be ringing him in Dingle, at half two in the morning, to ask permission to use these, but I'll ask him tomorrow, honest. I know, it would have been great to get Brian Cowan, but he's not really an ice cream type, now, is he?)

(An Taoiseach Brian Cowan, being chased by an ice cream man for not buying an ice cream.)