Ireland After The Bailout - A Few Thoughts


My mum voting in the recent referenda, in our local national school, in Nenagh, Co.Tipperary

 

Ireland is about to emerge from the bailout process that she was forced to enter when her banking system and economy collapsed in 2008. Will Ireland emerge like a butterfly from a chrysalis, or poop from a butt? We shall see...

Anyway, that fine and thoughtful journalist Conor Pope of the Irish Times asked me a few questions last week for a long piece he was writing on the subject.

I haven't read the article yet (I'll link to it here when and if it goes online), but I'm familiar with the way that quotes in an article can become unmoored from what you actually said (no matter how good the journalist, or the paper). That's just the nature of a daily newspaper's high-pressure, high-speed editorial process. Qualifiers get left out; the first half of a balanced argument makes the cut because you said it in a sexy way, the second half doesn't 'cause you didn't; a subeditor in a hurry can accidentally trim the punchline from a joke, or, in tightening up a saggy sentence, accidentally flip its meaning on its head. (Yes, all these things have happened to me. No, I'm not looking at you, New York Times, or Prospect, or Financial Times, or GREY Magazine, or The Times, or The Believer, or any of the little literary magazines. YES, I'M LOOKING AT YOU, GUARDIAN.)

Also, I miss the good old days, pre-Twitter, when I frequently blogged about economics from a novelist's perspective; I thought posting this might jolt me back into that habit. Plus, I gave myself a headache thinking about all this, and I know that, at best, only a couple of lines will make the finished article. (Conor has talked to a lot of people.) So, if anyone is interested, here's what he asked me, and here are my answers in full...

 

How would you explain the madness that gripped Ireland during the boom and why did so few people see the calamity coming down the tracks in 2006? 

I wouldn't give us a hard time over this. We were part of something much bigger than Ireland; the structural problems with the Euro blew up all the peripheral economies. Greece, Ireland, Portugal, Spain; the way the Euro was set up almost forced them into classic, credit-driven bubbles, in their national flavour. The bubble just came down the easiest credit channel. In Greece, it expressed itself through state patronage; in Ireland, it expressed itself through property & mortgages, etc. If the founders of the Euro refused to see the coming problem, even thought they were warned by several grumpy economists at the time, then we can hardly be blamed for not spotting it.

Also, we were drunk at the time. And high. Not all of us, but a startling number. I’m going to guess that our consumption of alcohol, cocaine and credit all mapped onto each other fairly exactly in the bubble years. Again, I don’t blame us. We were coming out of centuries of relentless, grinding national poverty. And when you’re poor, you don't need to cultivate a habit of restraint. You spend till you run out of money; you drink till you run out of drink. Poverty stops you killing yourself drinking, and lack of credit stops you killing yourself with debt. But give a poor society unlimited drink, or unlimited credit, and it's likely to end badly. I stopped going out in those years, because my friends were putting three or four €70 bottles of champagne on their credit cards and saying, sure we’ll split the bill at the end of the night. And I’d be nursing a single glass of fizzy water for five hours. Socialising became impossible; being frugal was seen as being disapproving, or difficult. We were drunk on credit, and everything looked more and more beautiful the drunker we got. Until we ran out of drink, and had to deal with the hangover. Countries that have been wealthy for a long time have to develop internal habits of control. You won't see the Swiss drinking their wages, because that would kill them.

 

What impact did the scale of the banking crisis have on Irish people? 

What about the bailout? What impact did that have? 

 ((Yeah, I'm in Ireland a lot, but I live in Berlin now. I didn't feel qualified to answer these two questions, so I skipped them.))

 

Repeated studies have shown that in spite of the horror show, Irish people have remained happier than in previous recessions - why do you think that is? 

 

The recession removed the unpleasant, highly competitive status anxiety that was the least attractive aspect of the bubble years. We are much more respectful of our friends’ feelings now, of their situation. Much more sensitive to the fact that they might not be able to afford to keep up. I was so pleased when I started to see party invitations that say, no presents. Strip away the material things from a relationship, and, if the relationship survives, it strengthens the relationship, it doesn’t weaken it. We see each other to see each other, now, not to show off. Also, this is a recession, not a famine. It's only a recession relative to the boom. It's a very painful adjustment, but we still have colour TV and the internet. And the suffering has been spread relatively evenly, across the classes, which gives a sense of solidarity. We’re in the shit, but we’re in the shit together.

 

We seem to have accepted all the austerity - imposed first by our own masters and subsequently by the Troika without so much as a murmur. What, do you think, does that say about us as a nation. 

 

I know there’s a lot of bemoaning this, but I think it reflects well on us as a nation. It’s only money; it’s only stuff. Fuckit, we still have each other, and nobody died. That’s a good attitude. If we took to the streets and had a revolution because our investments went badly… No, that’s not us. What’s tragic is that some people have been destroyed psychologically by their losses. But what is marvellous is that most people have not been. Their identity was not tied up with their property, their self esteem did not collapse along with their bank balance.

 

What impact - both psychologically and practically - do you think the bailout exit will have?

 

Not a lot. It’s a shaky exit. The Eurozone still has enormous problems, we haven’t really fixed a lot of what went wrong. The European financial system is still under horrendous strain. I don’t think the story of the Eurozone crisis is over yet, and through no fault of our own we may yet be dragged back into it.

 

And do you think we have learned from our mistakes? Property prices are rising in Dublin - and to a lesser degree in other urban centres - could we possibly allow another bubble to inflate or have we learned our lesson?

 

Well, if you don’t fix the fundamental problems; and the ECB and Germany and France have not fixed those problems, just stuck some enormous band-aids over them; then yes, another bubble could well inflate. But that’s not because WE haven’t learned from our mistakes. That’s because Germany, the country on the other side of all these imbalances, and the cause so much of Europe’s structural internal imbalance, still doesn’t believe it has made any mistakes. We've acknowledged our errors. Germany has not. Let’s not give ourselves such a hard time… I think Ireland's behaved well, and with remarkable restraint, under very difficult circumstances.  We've held together as a nation, unlike Greece say, which has been massively divided and embittered by their crisis; and at an individual level I think we've, by and large, looked after each other.

50 Free Copies of “CRASH! How I Lost A Hundred Billion And Found True Love”

So, I’ve been laughing and crying, listening to the Anglo Irish Bank tapes for the past fortnight. How can you satirize this? The line about the bailout figure of €7bn —  “I pulled it out of my arse…” — sounds more like one of my lines than most of my actual lines do.

 

First cover designMore specifically, they sound like they come from the comic novella I’m publishing next week. Which, oddly enough, stars a senior Irish banker, naming no names (and a very broke Irish taxpayer… and a woman awfully like Angela Merkel… and a man awfully like the head of the European Central Bank).

 

It’s called “CRASH! How I Lost A Hundred Billion And Found True Love”, and DailyLit are collaborating with Amazon to publish it as a Kindle Single, on July 11th. On the left there you can see all the cover designs we considered. But let's get down to the meat of the matter...

 

FREE COPIES!

 

I’ve talked to DailyLit, and to Amazon (who are publishing this together worldwide), and they’ve given me 50 free copies, to give away to my long-suffering followers, here and on Twitter. (At last, a reward for putting up with my blog posts about German elephants eating Christmas trees, and my 3am Twitter rants about African toilet design improvements.)

 

Second cover ideaGive me your email address, and whether you use the UK Amazon store or the US store, and I’ll paste the info into our elegantly named DailyLit Amazon Kindle Gifting Spreadsheet, and, on the day of release (July 11th), you will be sent a free code so you can download a copy.

 

Your emails will just be used for this, they won’t be shared in any way. You can mail me personally —  I’m juliangough (easy enough to remember) at gmail dot com — or mail me through the website; or leave it in a comment down below; or tell me by tweet (or DM, if our relationship is already intimate) on Twitter. Disguise it (yourname at something dot com) if you fear spambots, or give it to me straight. Whatever works for you.

 

First 50 I see will get a copy. (I may even be able to give away more copies than that, but I don’t want to over-promise.) 

 

Third cover idea. Funky angle! Funky chicken!Oh, and tell me which cover design you like best, while you’re at it, in the comments below, or on Twitter. We’ll see if our tastes align…

 

OK! I will blog more about this in a few days. And maybe put up an extract. Hey, it’s practically a media strategy!

 

Talk soon,

 

 

-Julian

Fourth cover design. Magnificent chicken, but you can't read CRASH! Take more drugs, drink more coffee, off we go...

 

 

 

 

 

 


Fifth cover design. The winner! Perfectly balanced. Hurray for Michele de la Menardiere and Tiya Tiyasirichokchai!

Can Anyone Top Seán FitzPatrick's Record?

"Can anyone top Seán FitzPatrick's record?"

We'll get to Seán in a minute. First, for my many non-Irish readers, who trust me as their number-one source of highly biased information on the state of Irish banking...  as I predicted a while back, the Irish Government is finally going to recapitalise the Irish banks. Orwell would wet himself laughing at the language the government are using to describe this flip-flop. The Irish Government plan to pour 10,000,000,000 euro (that's not a misprint - and yes, there's only four million people in Ireland) into the black hole of Irish banking, and the Minister calls it "a demonstration of confidence in the banks."

Er, no. It's a demonstration that the government thinks the Irish banks are insolvent. Bust. Bank-rupt.


How will a government with an exploding deficit fund this? Apparently they're going to throw the national Pension Scheme down the hole. And as to terms, well, we just have to trust them. Here's the official description, from the Irish Times this Monday, if you can stomach it:

Minister for Finance Brian Lenihan is expected to meet the chiefs of AIB, Bank of Ireland, Irish Life Permanent and Anglo Irish Bank over the coming days to discuss specific proposals for an injection of new capital into the system via a new fund in which the Government will participate.

"What I'm mainly concerned about is that the banks are in a position to extend credit," the Minister for Finance said on RTÉ radio.

"That's why we want to make this gesture, a demonstration of confidence in the banks, by upping their capital to show that their buffers are so strong, they are indestructible."

The Minister said there would be "tough discussions" with banks on the details of any State injection of funds. "We'll spell out the realities as we see them to the relevant institutions."

Mr Lenihan added there was "no question" of fresh public expenditure being incurred in the recapitalisation as there were was a substantial amount of money amassed in the National Pension Reserve Fund.

He refused to be drawn on whether there would be changes in the management of the banks as part of the Government plan.


Well, changes in management are happening already. Anglo Irish Bank, whose shares have lost 95% of their value this year, lost their chairman Seán FitzPatrick today. It turns out he'd been hiding 87,000,000 euro in personal loans with his own bank. Every September for the past eight years, as Anglo Irish Bank's year-end accounts were about to be done up, he'd lob 87,000,000 over the back wall and hide it in another bank (probably Irish Nationwide Building Society, whose books aren't done up till December, but noone is saying officially). Then, once Anglo-Irish had their figures all officially audited ("Vast loans? To the Chairman? Heavens no!"), he'd lob his loans back over the wall again. So they didn't turn up on the books of either bank.

 

What was his quote on this matter?


"...it is clear to me, on reflection, that it was inappropriate and unacceptable from a transparency point of view."

 

On reflection? ON REFLECTION? He thought it was absolutely spiffing from a transparency point of view, while  for eight years he played hurling over the back fence with 87,000,000 euro, but earlier this week he finally had a spare moment to reflect (busy man), and was shocked, SHOCKED! to discover he wasn't totally transparent?

 

I love the way the traditional Irish cover-it-up language is being stretched to its limit by the size of the stuff it is now being asked to cover.

 

If this was one of my novels I'd give you an exquisitely crafted gag to finish up, that played with transparency and reflection, invisible men and vanishing money, but this is a blog and I'm knackered so that's all you get.

 

No, actually I'd like to end with Business Plus magazine, from November 2004. It has Seán FitzPatrick on the front cover, under the admiring headline, "Can Anybody Top Seán's Record?"

 

Well, Seán was the CEO of Anglo-Irish Bank from 1986-2005, then Chairman till today. He ran it right through the boom years. It's lost 95% of its value this year, and his secret loans from the bank now add up to a full third of its entire market cap.

 

Yes, we'll see can anyone top that in the coming year.

 

(Ah, he's probably a lovely man, and only wanted the 87,000,000 euro to help sick children, and hedgehogs who'd been hit by combine harvesters. And his modesty made him hide the loans. Still, though, if anyone out there can find a bigger image than this 7k gif, send it on to me and I'll put it up here...)